Did your mother bring the mozzarella?

Nattering Naybob:  Red Ranger, the blogosphere is on pins and needles awaiting word on whether your mother remembered to bring the mozzarella and Taylor ham from New Jersey, when she visited the Red Ranger homestead in suburban Boston for Thanksgiving. Or was she banished to eating her dinner in the basement or out on the porch in the dank late November Massachusetts chill?

Speaking of Thanksgiving, it is time to acknowledge that even this Holiday has been ruined by commercialism and angry mob mentality. I speak of the so-called “Black Friday” crowds that gathered this year (we may have to come up with a new name for the phenomenon of stores starting their sales on Thanksgiving night… “Gray” Thursday? “Taupe” Thursday?) Although I do not believe any deaths were reported as a direct result of this year’s surging mobs, some of the scenes from Thursday night and early Friday morning still sickened the senses, as demonstrated by this YouTube video of Walmart shoppers scrambling for 15 discounted Xbox units. These people should all be corralled into a pen or some other kind of fenced-in enclosure, and then shipped off a to deserted island so they can fight the same way over the only 15 coconuts on the island

The Red Ranger: Yes, The Red Ranger’s mother was successful in supplying the necessary food.  I had Taylor ham sandwiches on Friday and Saturday and they tasted very much like I remember them as a kid.  Although I think the slices were a little thicker since they were pre-sliced in packages and not by hand at the deli.

My wonderful wife has gone out to snag some early morning “Black Friday” sales for the boys over the years.  However, the madness tends to be much calmer where she shops than what is in this video.  I am not a big fan of starting these sales on Thursday.  Let the holiday finish and the retail employees enjoy some time with their families.  The stores are probably going to sell the same amount during the holiday season regardless of the crazy gimmicks that they come up with since people shop based upon the money they have available which is pretty much a fixed amount as opposed to going out and spending money every time a store is open.

Another thing that annoys me during this time of year is when radio stations switch to an all-holiday music format on Thanksgiving.  Who actually listens to these stations?

Nattering Naybob: I see that The Red Ranger has engaged in his own insidious War on Christmas with his attack on Christmas music.

You Reap What You Sow

The RedRanger: Looking at today’s headlines…

Jobless claims jump 78k to 439k.  While the blame is placed on Hurricane Sandy it appears that the states with the largest jumps in claims were PA, MI and OH states that were not that badly hit by Sandy.  What happens next week when the people of NY and NJ actually have the opportunity to file claims after finally getting their power back.

Israel and Hamas are on the verge of another war.

And the biggest one of all, Hostess may go out of business, ending the Twinkie, due to a union strike.  Gotten love those unions.  Can you imagine all the irate Twinkie fans who will now be anti-union.

Nattering Naybob: Well, Red Ranger, it’s been a while since we have updated our little blog. A lot has happened since our last post. Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc on the Metropolitan area, unfortunately bringing with it death to some and untold misery for hundreds of thousands. Shortly thereafter, if rumors I have been hearing are correct, there was a presidential election in which the American people largely rejected the last four years of Republican obstructionism, birth certificate silliness, and other anti-Obama tactics, and re-elected the incumbent, much to your profound misery, I’m sure. To further rub salt into the wound, Elizabeth Warren will be the your new Senator on January 1st, replacing Scott Brown, whose everyman-wearing-a-corduroy-coat-driving-a-pickup persona, was one that I know you had great empathy for. Sorry about that. I know the last few weeks have been rough for you.

Regarding the demise of Hostess, in another era I would have been mortified over that but since I have resolved to eat healthier over the last couple of years I can only think back wistfully at the halcyon days of my youth when every other week or so my father and I would drive out to the Hostess outlet in Moonachie, New Jersey and bring home enough goodies to sate the snack cake cravings of myself, my two brothers, and my parents on an endless basis. And on the way home from our Twinkie trip, we would stop at Brookdale Soda and Beer at the bottom of Dan Kelly Hill in Fairview and stock up on cases of assorted bottles of soda to wash it all down. Why oh why did I have to grow up????

The Red Ranger: Again harkening back to the old days, the other day I had a craving for Taylor ham. Not sure if you ever had this or not but I vividly remember having this as a kid. My mother would quickly heat it up in the frying pan and then I would make a sandwich out of it.  For some reason we didn’t have it very often, which now that I look back is odd since I do not think it was expensive and it was certainly tasty.

Much to my dismay I discovered that Taylor ham is not generally sold in MA and is primarily a NJ and PA novelty. However, given today’s modern society it can be ordered on line for delivery. I have asked my mother to bring some (along with a few pounds of mozzarella from DiPalma Brothers) with her during her annual Thanksgiving trip to the land of the pilgrims. I hope she remembers, if she doesn’t I will be on line Friday morning ordering it.

I have already gotten Ryan hooked on the mozzarella so I think Taylor ham is next.  I can also order Sabrett hot dogs from the same place that is selling the Taylor ham.

Another reminder of the old days happened to me the other day. One of my son’s coaches sent out an e-mail referring to the Patriots old Schaefer Stadium along with a picture of Schaefer beer cans and the slogan, “Schaefer is the one beer to have when you having more than one”.  How many times did we hear that watching a ball game during our youth?

Unlike you I have never grown up.

Nattering Naybob: You should provide the following incentive to your mother: Forget to bring the mozarella and Taylor ham, she gets turned away at the door. Thanksgiving dinner at Pizza Hut, for her (just kidding, I have always been very fond of your mother).

All this talk about Taylor ham reminded me of bringing lunch to school when we attended Horace Mann elementary school in New Jersey. My dear departed mother used to make me all sorts of sandwiches to brown-bag in to school, many of which had shall we say perishable ingredients like cheese, tuna fish with mayo, etc. I (and all my fellow brown-baggers) just kept the sandwiches inside our desks with nary a refrigeration coil in sight, and to my knowledge none of us ever died of food poisoning (although like me I’m sure you remember quite a few noteworthy reverse-perisalti that took place in the courtyard during lunch, so who knows…) Nowadays I imagine if a kid brings lunch to school they have to bring it in a climate-controlled all-weather insulated freezer pack bag. I guess that’s why they all have such huge backpacks now.

You mentioned Schaefer beer, I thought you and our readers might get a kick out of this YouTube video of a classic Schaefer beer commercial ca. 1970 (as with all YouTube videos, beware of any adult-themed comments or other links to R-rated videos.)